About David Laurino

An Ounce of Prevention
Of course the best way to handle bad behavior is to avoid it, which may seem impossible when parenting a toddler. But with a few tricks under your hat, you may be able to head it off at least some of the time. “Prevention is always the best strategy with toddlers,” says Douglas.

David Laurino

Quality of Mood
Is your child generally happy and even-tempered or does her mood seem to shift frequently?

>From these nine traits, Thomas and Chess devised three categories, which they say describe approximately 65% of all children.
Easy or Flexible (40%): These kids are considered “easy going”. They demonstrate a steady, optimistic view of the world and are not deeply bothered by meeting new people or changes in their daily routine. Their bodily rhythms are largely predictable and they tend to not “overreact” to negative events or disruptive stimuli.

Active, Difficult, or Feisty (10%): Children in this category are frequently labeled “fussy” or “a handful.” They tend to have irregular feeding and sleeping patterns, are resistant to change and fearful of new people. They are quite sensitive to noise, light, and commotion and react intensely to things that disturb them.

Slow to Warm or Cautious:(15%): Dominant traits include relative inactivity, fussiness and fear of new people and situations. With gradual exposure, these children tend to warm up and become increasingly comfortable with the people and situations that caused them initial distress.

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David Laurino: Stepping Stones to Speech

Is your child where he ought to be on the road to communication? Early Words, a Hamilton preschool speech and language service, offers a map of language milestones:

Age 1
-says first word
-follows simple commands
-gestures and/or vocalizes to indicate wants and needs
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Not-so-innocent Bystanders
So how do you deal with strangers interfering when your child is acting up? For 45-year-old Mary Schnack of Sedona, Ariz., it was something she had to deal with regularly. Her daughter, now 19, is learning disabled and suffers from ADHD. She also has problems with impulse control and understanding cause and effect.

While Schnack says she never physically disciplined her child, she did have to be firm in public such as not letting go of her hand to keep her from wandering off. “I did get reactions from people that I was abusing my child,” she says. “A store clerk asked me to either stop hurting my child or leave the store.”

“At some level, parents have to be aware that concern by others might in fact be an issue,” says Billingham. He suggests smiling at people and making a joke about the behavior by making comments like, “Only another 15 years of this!”

And keep in mind what matters most: your relationship with your child. “How the other people view you is so less important than how you interact with your child,” says Polland.

“Most of us at some point in life have been either the toddler or the frustrated mom,” says Douglas. “We just have to hope that we don’t end up turning into the annoyed little old lady down the road, forgetting just how challenging it can be to be that young mother.”

AD Kids Company
AD Kids Inc: Reading to your child and discussing books is a great way to encourage talking. “I like Arthur. Who do you like?” or “Where did the puppy go?” Reading to your child daily will enrich his vocabulary, understanding and his talking while spending precious snuggle-time together.

It’s important to provide opportunities in your daily routine to enrich your toddler’s speech and language skills. A child may be reluctant to talk because they’re never encouraged to do so. Why would a child talk if pointing, grunting or having others talk for him can meet his needs?

On the other hand, a child who seems to be a “late talker” may be demonstrating a communication disorder and should be evaluated by a speech-language pathologist to determine if a disability exists. So discuss your concerns with your pediatrician and/or consult with a speech and language pathologist to see if a speech and language evaluation is indicated.

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Rob Sayer, director of The Music Class, says he started the company to get kids listening to music at an early age so that future musical instruction (the more formal kind) would come more easily. My kids are still too young for me to see whether this will pan out, but there is no question that those early classes — which my 9-month-old son now enthusiastically attends — have ignited a love for music in both of them that I never had at that age.

That Mozart CD we got in the hospital doesn’t get much play in our house — it’s usually skipped in favor of our Music Class CDs — but we’ve added dozens of other CDs to our collection. The best part of music class for us has been the great times it’s fostered. And for that, I’ve realized, we didn’t really need classes or even CDs; our own voices and pots and pans would have worked just fine, too.

Trehub agrees that having fun with your baby is one of music’s greatest perks. But equally important, she suggests, is its role as a cultural guidepost for children. Songs, both heard and sung, are a classic way for kids to learn about language, customs, and the larger world as a whole. Indeed, Weinberger has observed that many babies begin singing around the same time they start using language, and first words are often part of familiar songs.

“Even before literacy was widespread, crucial cultural information — how to plant crops, the location of tribal boundaries — was embedded in songs so it could be transmitted from one generation to the next,” says Trehub. “Babies today learn animal names and sounds, counting, colors, stories, and, of course, the alphabet from the songs they hear and sing.” My own children have picked up Spanish (their father’s native language) from songs, and our friend Michael Schill of Philadelphia claims that his 2-year-old understands the contributions that snakes and spiders make to pest control, thanks to the endless playing of Mary Miche’s Earthy Tunes album.

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“When my daughter was about 2 years old, we took her to a daycare for a couple days, and she started stuttering at exactly that point,” says JoBeth Cox from Indiana, mother of Peytan, now 4. “My mom swears it’s because we tried to make her go to daycare, but even when we took her out and put her back with my mom, she continued to stutter.”

It was really obvious during about a two-month period, and everyone would notice, she says. “Some family expressed concern about whether or not she was upset about something or stressed, and it was causing her to do it. But after the doctor said it was normal, everyone just tried not to make a big deal when she did it,” says Cox.

Cox went to her pediatrician with concerns but was told most children go through some stage when they are learning to talk when they have difficulties. As predicted, Peytan stopped stuttering by age 3.

Susan Henrichs

To Reward or Not to Reward?
Another tried and true strategy is to reward good behavior, but many parents feel like they’re bribing their child. Some experts, however, believe there is no harm in a little reward as long as you don’t overdo it.

Billingham feels that rewarding children is a great strategy because it teaches cause and effect. Douglas agrees. “We get rewards in adult life for good behavior,” she says.

You may be thinking that rewards could get a bit expensive, but they don’t have to be. Barbara Polland, professor of child and adolescent development at California State University, Northridge and author of No Directions on the Package: Questions and Answers for Parents With Children From Birth to Age 12 (Celestial Arts, 2000), suggests buying a bag of cheap party favors and then wrapping them individually in tissue paper. When you’re on your way out, tell your child that after he behaves he’ll get to open the gift. But be sure never to give the reward if he does not have good behavior.

Other inexpensive rewards can be activities that your child enjoys, such as stopping by the park on the way home or playing a favorite game.

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